Whether you are aware of it or not, your life is full of compromises. Things like letting the children stay up 30 minutes longer as long as they do their homework now….or staying back late at work as long as you can go to the doctor’s on Thursday morning….it’s all about give and take.
As a Love Coach I come across many women who do this constantly but totally fail when it comes to compromising in relationships with men. We have all had relationships which just didn’t work out for whatever reason but unfortunately what many of us do is add that to an ever-growing load of luggage we carry (valiantly) into the next relationship and quite frankly, many of us play the martyr role with gusto.
When single, we create our unwavering mantra of how our NEXT man should be. We overthink his every move and then quickly write him off as someone unsuitable to our “standards” declaring a preference to being single rather than put up with blah blah blah….so you remain single and add to that suitcase you are carrying around. Don’t get me wrong I am not saying every woman will end up a snivelling mess in the corner surrounded by cats if she doesn’t have a man in her life but we realistically need to look at our deal breakers and our compromises within a relationship if it has any chance at all of survival.
In a new relationship we tend to unpack our baggage from the past into our new relationship and we remember all those things that annoyed us in the past…things like the toilet seat left up, wet towels left on the floor or worse on the bed or other blokey stuff men tend to do and it DRIVES US CRAZY!
I know this because I’ve been there….one of the most annoying habits my husband has is cotton buds! Every time he uses one in the bathroom he throws them (and misses often) into the bin. Every time I clean the bathroom I find at least 5-10 of them behind the bin and our conversation always goes along the lines of “Why can’t you just pick them up? I’m not your mother you know!” To which he would agree earnestly and pick them up for about 2 days and then back to normal.
That being said, I have a routine where I weigh myself every Monday and one Monday morning (after a Saturday clean which included the above conversation) I went to step on my scales and there…written in cotton buds were the words I LUV U. I smiled and at that moment I realised I had just learnt the art of compromise….that even though my husband can do things that REALLY piss me off the bottom line is he loves me…so every time I pick up one of those damn cotton buds these days I smile because I remember he loves me and I have NEVER nagged him to pick them up again.
My point therefore is this…the expression “Don’t Sweat the Small stuff” is the best thing you can ever learn…you will stop being frustrated, you will stop nagging and you will be a happier , nicer person to live with.
See, none of us are perfect and wouldn’t we be a boring lot if we were! The main thing is to leave your baggage at the door, celebrate the times he manages to get the cotton bud in the bin as if it’s a 3 pointer and appreciate that despite all YOUR faults he still loves you.