Ok so you’re an Atheist….

I guess I would call myself an agnostic (you may call me a fence sitter) but having been brought up in a strict catholic household some of the brainwashing lingers…there is a “what if” at the back of my mind.

I remember being in school and being a little jealous of the one Jewish girl in our class.  She used to get more days off from school than I did and I believed at age 10 that she should come to school when I didn’t….the only problem was the school was closed!

Today I was speaking to someone who is an atheist and a thought crossed my mind…should Atheists have Christian Holidays off? So, if you are an atheist are you willing to give up your Christmas Break and your Easter Holidays because of your beliefs….now I am very sure your answer to this is yes.

Happy Atheist Day

So what days off should Atheists have?  In fact , April 1st is considered atheist day all because of the words of a Florida judge.  During the court proceedings an attorney working on behalf of an atheist sort to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews & observances of their holy days. The argument was, it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized day(s).  After listening to the impassioned plea by the lawyer, the judge promptly declared “Case dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately objected to the ruling stating, “Your honour, how can you possibly dismiss this case?  The Christians have Christmas and Easter. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur & Hanukkah. Yet my client & all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge, after much deliberation leaned towards the lawyer and said  ‘But you do have a National Day! Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant.”

The lawyer response was, “Your Honour, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists?”

The judge’s reply, ‘The calendar says April 1st is ‘April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, ‘The fool says in his heart, there is no God.”  Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day.”

So what other days could atheist claim given they will work during the Christian vacations.   Here’s some suggestions.

How about

January 10th is Peculiar People Day…I know a few peculiar people and some of them are atheists

January 21st is National Hugging Day….and everyone needs a hug…..even atheists

April 7th is No Housework Day…..hell (can I say that?) I am willing to become an atheist to celebrate this one!

August 15th is National Relaxation Day…or as I like to call it “the day before we got married and you better remember it” day

September 28th is Ask A Stupid Question Day….though I am fairly certain many people I talk with think that’s every day!

And of course finally

December 30th where we celebrate the Festival of Enormous Changes at the Last Minute….again a day I like to practise throughout the year so I get it right on the night!

Finally being Agnostic I think I can also claim some or all of the above days and have the day off work….that’s the beauty of being a fence sitter 🙂


6 thoughts on “Ok so you’re an Atheist….

  1. Goodness me Jackie, you have quite a bit to learn about atheists!

    Firstly, billions of people celebrate Christmas who are not christians. Christmas ceased being a religious festival a long time ago and is seen by a great majority of people as an entirely secular holiday, an end-of-year celebration to catch up with family and friends, culminating in NYE where we congratulate ourselves on surviving another year. Not to mention the well-known-but-always glossed-over fact that the christians hijacked all the old pagan festivals to fit their new paradigm but you don’t see anyone asking the christians why they celebrate pagan stuff 😉

    So your point is rather redundant.

    As far as atheist holidays go, we don’t need anything specific. Why would we? The atheist position is simply an absence of belief. Show us the proof, the evidence, and we’ll change our minds faster than you can say Flying Spaghetti Monster. Unlike the agnostics, who like to have a bet each way (just in case?!). What’s to celebrate? If I had to choose a day to celebrate science and reason though, I would choose Darwin’s birthdy (Darwin Day is 12 Feb). But generally, every day is Atheist Day, ie. just another day.

    So I’ll work when I want to and take time off when I want to. I couldn’t care less about the bleatings of the adherents to irrelevant Bronze Age mythologies having their annual cry. Being self-employed I have that luxury, but unfortunately everyone is still pretty much at the whim of ‘tradition’ but not necessarily religion, when it comes to holiday times.

    Any excuse for a bit of a party and food I didn’t have to cook – yep, give me some of that!

    As for that clever Judge citing the Psalms verse, well, if even the fool can understand it…!!

    • As you know this was written rather tongue in cheek 🙂 I’ve been trained to be a Christian but know very little about being an Atheist hence me often using the G word at times. It’s not unusual for pagan holidays to evolve in Christian ones…All Saints Day comes mind. I’ve always though of the bible as being a book of stories..Grimm Fairy Tales and Aesop’s fables also come to mind when I think of a book of stories.

      Drinking the blood of Christ was stolen from vampires and eating the body from Zombies….All least I can pretend that right?

      • As a general rule, if a story starts with ‘a judge said’ or ‘a professor and a student were talking’ or something like that, and no names were given, it probably didn’t actually happen.

      • I’m crushed…like the bible it’s a good story though…only fair that atheists get one too! That and them eating babies! 😉

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