Women tend to be their own worse enemies when it comes to our self image and our love life.
Many of us feel like we are never thin enough, happy enough, tall enough, pretty enough…..we are never just enough!
During my day-to-day activities as a Love Coach I come across many women who try to second guess why a man does this or what does he mean when he says that. Things like “He promised to call me at 8pm and it’s now 9pm and no call!….do you think he’s cheating???!!! Ok so the last one is a bit extreme but when women ask me these types of questions it always remind me of an old joke which is a great example of how we overthink!
28 July 2012
Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I’d been shopping in the afternoon with the girls and was a bit late meeting him, thought it might be that. The bar was really crowded and loud, so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk.
He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we go somewhere nice to eat. All through dinner he just didn’t seem himself – he hardly laughed and didn’t seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying, I just knew that something was wrong.
He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in. He hesitated but followed. I asked him what was wrong, but he just half shook his head and turned the television on.
After about ten minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to bed, I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply. He just gave a sigh and a sad sort of smile. He didn’t follow me up immediately but came up later and,to my surprise we made love, but he still seemed distant and a bit cold. I cried myself to sleep – I think he’s planning to leave me – maybe he’s found someone else.
Saturday 28 July
Australia lost the cricket. Gutted. Got a root though.
Even though this is a joke it’s also a really good example of how much some women overthink. If he doesn’t call when he says he will remember he’s probably got a job or other commitments he can’t abandon and sometimes we can just lose track of the time. It does not means he’s showing off his willy to someone new….at least not always.
Overthinking is really bad for your health….it increases your stress levels, can lead to lack of sleep, cause obesity (going for chocolate will not stop you thinking) and generally make you feel bad about yourself.
So, how can you STOP overthinking? That’s easy! Stop doing it and do something else….go meditate, read a book and stop looking at the clock and wondering why he hasn’t called. watch an action movie where things get blown up! (romantic movies will depress you more), call a friend and talk about your day, go get a little retail therapy but for goodness sake do not hover over the abyss of self pity and insecurity! It’s a very slippery slope which can often lead to relationship destruction!
So rather than trying to second guess his thoughts…ask him…if he’s still not communicative…check the cricket scores…you never know…Australia might have lost again 🙂